Hola from our new home!

IMG_5023.JPGWe’ve officially lived in the Dominican Republic for just over a week and so far, we are adjusting great. The culture shock here isn’t as bad as it was in China. I don’t know if it’s because we knew what to expect this time around, or if it’s because the time change and life changes aren’t as extreme.IMG_5086IMG_5087.JPG

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IMG_5099.JPGI don’t think it’s hit me yet that we are here for 3 and a half months, but I know from past experience that it will eventually. I’ll get home sick, I’ll get my separation anxiety from Harvey, I will miss certain things and certain people, but right now I am just taking it all in and enjoying this beautiful chapter that Derek and I are lucky to experience together with 30 strangers.IMG_5101

A few things that are different here than back home:

The humidity! On Monday, it was 90 degrees with 60% humidity. We don’t have AC in our house or schools, so we are all constantly covered in sweat, and we’ve just accepted it. I am glad we are all here to stick together through it all (literally and figuratively). My hair and nails are thriving though.

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Our water and electricity situation. Without fail, one of them is always off every other day for a couple of hours. The area our house is in doesn’t have city water and power, so our house runs off of a back up system. (Batteries and cisterns) It feels like we are all camping, but in a very nice house.IMG_5077.JPGIMG_5078.JPG

In addition to not having water sometimes, we never have hot water or good water pressure. With that being said, showering is a whole new experience. Since we are constantly hot and sweaty, cold showers haven’t been that bad. But I know I’ll probably cry happy tears when I get my hard water pressure back (in 90 days) 😉IMG_5079

We also can’t drink the tap water here, which is a habit that Derek and I got used to in China, but I do miss having the luxury of constant access to water. Especially here, where we are always thirsty from the heat.IMG_5083.JPG

Our house situation is similar to what it was like in China. Our “home” is like a larger hotel room with our own bathroom, but we share a kitchen and laundry room with the other 30 volunteers. Since we are the head teachers this time around, we have our own “hotel room” but the other rooms in our house are filled with 6-9 volunteers who all share a bathroom together. (props to them!)IMG_4917.JPGIMG_4928.JPGThe good news is, we can walk 20 minutes from our house and be in the ocean, which makes all of the “bad” and different things worth it. I’ve also learned that most of the dogs and cats that we see on the street are people’s pets, and not strays, and that has eased my emotions and culture shock a little bit.

IMG_5102IMG_5100.JPGIMG_5091Unlike our first living abroad experience, the language barrier here isn’t too bad for us. I love being able to read the Spanish words in the restaurants and grocery stores which I was never able to do with Chinese characters, and Derek loves practicing the Spanish he knows with our personal taxi driver/ neighbor, Papi.

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IMG_5084.JPGWe also have pretty skies, good food, a comfortable bed, and regular toilets which were all things we struggled with our first week when we lived in China. If you want to read the post that I wrote back then, here is the link: https://thestellarstories.com/2017/09/09/ni-hao-from-our-new-home/

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IMG_5089.JPGIn the last 9 days, we’ve adjusted to our new living situation, we’ve made some new friends, we’ve organized all of our groups’ teaching schedules, and we’ve started teaching the kids. Being greeted with a million hugs and hearing “teacha Wren and Teacha D” again as we arrive at the schools almost makes me tear up.IMG_5090.JPGIMG_5092.JPGIMG_5093

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We’ve also explored our city center (with the best architecture), ate the yummiest food,  spent some time at a beautiful country club, and have been to the beach three times, which makes me the happiest little soul. I am so excited to see what accomplishments, experiences, and adventures we have in the next 13 weeks.

IMG_5021Like I’ve said before, with adventure comes change, and with change comes growth. And I am so ready for all of it.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

 

 

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Goodbye to this chapter, and A very “busy” April.

IMG_4758Today is May 1st, and to be honest getting through the month of April has made me feel like I can do absolutely anything. I know I always start my posts by saying that me being busy is an understatement, but I have recently learned that “busy” is just a sad word to say that I have been taking advantage of every single moment.

I love being busy. I love being on the go. I love taking advantage of every single day. And even though I feel like I haven’t had “a break” since February, I’ve had so many beautiful experiences in the meantime, and have been surrounded by so much love. Here’s a few moments that I took advantage of and captured from this crazy month:

Celebrating our beautiful angel, Ashley, with my work family.IMG_3944.JPGHiking those beautiful red rocks with our best friends.IMG_4757Practicing yoga in my backyard, and cuddling way too often with Harvey

IMG_4741Being crazy hooligans with my favorites, including my sissyIMG_4755Our first swim day of the year at Grandma’sIMG_4122.JPGThe prettiest work sunset IMG_4193.JPGVisits from Kenzie from San Francisco IMG_4761.JPGCoffee date with MarieIMG_4754

Visits from Auston from Salt LakeIMG_4752

Loving on and saying goodbye to my favorite girls
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Double date with my sissy and TylerIMG_4256

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve consciously taken advantage of the time I have left before we leave the country again, but I’ve learned that when I am “busy” time slows down…

A LOT.

Each day felt like a whole week, and the month of April felt like a whole year. It was filled with so many emotions, temporary and final goodbyes, growing pains, life lessons, and so many little moments that made me feel thankful to be living. I took advantage of every single one of them, and every single emotion and feeling that came with them.

A no sleep, beautiful night in Vegas with my Derek

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Crying and dancing not once, but twice to my favorite band, The 1975IMG_4753Celebrating Derek’s birthday at dinner with our DurstelersIMG_4749.JPGShowering these two beautiful mamas, super model best friends of mine (both of those bellies will be babies next time I see them!)

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Pulling off a 400 people Easter brunch (and a handful of more events) at workIMG_4748.JPGVisits from mom from Arizona (I hadn’t slept in 3 days in this photo)IMG_4583.JPGGame night/ going away party with my work famIMG_4747.JPGLeaving town again to celebrate this girl’s birthdayIMG_4729And so many more, that I didn’t remind myself to capture

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IMG_4746.JPGI know I’ll look back on April 2019 of being one of the busiest, hardest, but most beautiful months of my life. I’ll remember it as the time that I learned that “busy” doesn’t always mean something bad. Sometimes  being “busy” just means that you are living your life to the absolute fullest and taking advantage of every single minute with the people you love, the places you’ll miss, and the feelings you want to hold onto forever.

IMG_4760We leave to the Dominican Republic in just a few days, and even though

I CAN NOT WAIT

to “have a break”, live on the beach, and spend every single minute with my Derek, I can’t help but feel so proud of the things I have accomplished in the last few weeks. I am proud of myself for looking at my to do lists and thinking “I am going to miss this” instead of “I am so stressed out”. For still working 50 hour work weeks, because I know how much I’ll miss the job that I worked so hard to get and the people who come with it. For giving up sleep to cuddle Harvey a little longer,  and taking advantage of my good internet, bath tub, air conditioner, and washing machine. For giving up my alone time to spend time with the large amount of people I want to see and hug before I leave, and constantly thinking “I am so lucky to have so many people who fill my heart”. And the most important, for allowing myself to feel every single emotion, instead of blocking them out.

I know that change is always good, but I am also very aware that it means new chapters, new self growth, and changes in relationships. I know from past experience that things will be much different when we come back home, and this month has taught me that that is okay.  It taught me that emotions, busy-ness, anxiety, stress, tears, love, happiness highs, and missing moments before they’re gone, are all a part of being human and living. And if you read my previous post, you know that I think, there is nothing wrong with LIVING. 

Onto the next adventure, Wren

 

Using your Limited Time to Live Your Freaking Life

IMG_3985.JPGIn the light of recent events, I’ve been paying more attention to time. Time has always been something I’ve been observant of, but for some unknown reason, I’ve felt more thankful for the subtle reminders lately that our time here is limited and that it all eventually comes to an end. The time spent with the people we meet, and love. The time we spend in the places we go or call home, the certain little moments that we want to hold onto forever, it’s all limited. And it will all eventually come to an end.IMG_3984.JPGYou may be thinking to yourself “wow Wren, now I am depressed, thanks for the reminder.” But it’s the truth. And the thought that we’re not here forever shouldn’t make you depressed, it should make you want to live. All too often I hear these lines, and lately I’ve paid way more attention to them:

  • “I’ll do that one day.”
  • “I’ll be happy when… I lose the weight, I find true love, get a better job, move away.”
  • “I wish I could do that.”
  • “I am jealous of their life.”
  • “If only things were as easy as that.”

Do you know what I think when I hear these? Unhealthy mind sets, excuses, and future regrets. I know that things come easier to some people than others and it’s a natural reaction to feel jealousy, compare, and wish for different life experiences especially in this time in society.

It’s also a natural reaction to make excuses as to why you’re not doing the things you want to do with your limited time, but I’ve learned over the years that even though they’re easier, excuses are just blocks to living our best lives and taking advantage of our time here. If you really want to accomplish something, you’ll stop putting it on the back burner and do it. No matter how difficult it is, how crazy it sounds to others, how much sense it doesn’t make, or how the timing might not feel just right.

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I personally think humans make excuses because we can’t comprehend how it will feel when our time runs out. We think we will always have the weekend, the summer, the next year, the “one days.” Until it runs out and we don’t have any more time to accomplish the things we once promised ourselves that we would do. 56622488_2078565578863187_5963440933763547136_nCan you imagine how different your perspective would change if you knew for a fact that you only had 5 more years to live and that the count down started today?

You would quit your job that you hate. You would go do the things that you always wanted to do and see the places you always wanted to see, no matter how much money or uncomfortable situations it took. You would tell everyone how you felt about them, because why does it matter if they feel the same way back? You would capture more moments; write them down, photograph them, record them, so that your life and your moments would be remembered when you were gone.

You wouldn’t care about the way you looked, or the way you did things. You wouldn’t try to impress anyone and be unapologetic-ally yourself.  You probably wouldn’t care that your food order was wrong or that someone pulled in front of you while driving, or that a certain person ignored your text or phone call. You would begin to care more about making each day better than the last, and not let the little inconveniences upset you. You would absorb the moments that make your heart sing and surround yourself with the people and things that make you feel complete. You would take in all of the beauty of the world because you would constantly be aware of how much time you have left to enjoy it all.IMG_4124Your whole perspective would change, and that is the point I am trying to make.

I don’t mean to depress you, or rush you to spend the money that you don’t have on that plane ticket, or make you think “wow, what the hell am I currently doing with my life?” But all I’ve seen lately is time passing… excuses, wishful thinking, and not a whole lot of living. I hope that this post is a simple reminder that your time with a person, your time in a place, your time here on Earth… it’s all limited and I think we should all take advantage of these beautiful lives we are lucky to live.

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So, if you want to start living, start small. Tell people how you feel, how much you love and care for them.. even if they don’t care to hear it or don’t say it back. Visit the places you’ve always wanted to see, not for the Instagram photo, but for the sake of fulfilling your dreams. Study hard in college because you want that education, not to impress your parents or your friends. Sing really loud with your windows down, jump into the swimming pool, dance like a fool, crowd surf, get the tattoo. Do everything you’ve always wanted to do, and be everything you always wanted to be., all for the sake of feeling alive. Fulfill yourself and your life as if all of your time is limited, and remind yourself when you need to, that it is.

Onto the next adventure, (with my favorite quote lately ) Wren
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Onto The Next Adventure

IMG_3731If you know me personally at all, you know that I live my life in a way that when someone asks me “what’s new?” I have a whole list of things. Unlike most people, I thrive off constant change, getting out of my comfort zone, and taking the opportunities and adventures that come my way.  It’s one of my favorite things about myself. 

I sometimes wonder if there is ever a time in my life that I won’t want this, and eventually “get comfortable or settle down,” but for now, I am just enjoying this crazy, constantly changing, growth period time of my life. And having my other half by my side through it all has made it that much better.gopr0509.jpgWith that being said, what crazy, life changing thing are we up to next?!

No, we’re not selling our home and moving into a tiny house to travel the states. No, we’re not moving to a farm, or adopting 2 more dogs, a pig, and some chickens. No, we’re not opening our own business, or selling our home to build our dream home. And no, we’re not having babies or starting our family….yet.

Believe it or not, these are all conversations that have came up in the last couple of years, and maybe one day we will accomplish those fantasies that we have, or they will stay fantasies, but for now…

We are moving to the Caribbean for the summer to become beach bums!12509477_940303516022738_7543440047604848957_nI know I have a lot of dreams, (see above)  but living near the ocean is near the very top of my list, so when this opportunity was handed to us a couple months ago, I told Derek we HAD to take it.

Who, what, when, where, why?? You may be asking.

I already answered the why, and I hope you’re smart enough to figure out the who. 😉10.JPGThe What: We are teaching English again with the same program that we went to China with. However, this time will be a little different. We are the head teachers, which means we are “in charge” and the go to help for the other volunteer teachers who are going for their first time. We are also working as humanitarian volunteers this time which means we will be teaching, as well as doing humanitarian work for the kids and their families, who are underprivileged.EGLO4168.JPGThe When: We leave around May 10th and come home around August 10th, just in time for Derek to get right back to school and me to jump right into fall wedding season.

The Where: the most exciting part. We will be living, teaching, and of course- exploring in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. One of the most beautiful islands to exist, and right in the middle of my favorite place (that I’ve visited) in the world.11986431_916439311742492_5780921689488802445_nAs you can imagine, we are so excited for this adventure. We learned so much about ourselves and each other while living abroad in China. It was the best thing we’ve ever done together, and we are so happy that the opportunity has come for us to do it again.

A few things that I am really looking forward to:

  • Immersing myself in another new culture
  • Practicing my Spanish (which I think will be much easier than Chinese. 😉 )
  • Being next to the ocean EVERY DAY – I think happy tears will happen just about every morning.
  • Spending every single minute of every day with my Derek, because to be honest we work best that way.
  • And of course, being called “Teacher Wren”.
  • IMG_E4061Onto the next adventure, Wren

Celebrating 25, and many more!

It’s been a week since I officially hit the “quarter life crisis” mark, and to be honest I’ve been celebrating way more than my body planned too, resulting in a head cold. (That time of year right?) It’s the 11th day in March, and I feel like all I’ve done this month is celebrate. Now that life is slowing down a little bit, and I am able to finally rest, I have time to post my celebratory month so far. (Even though I never actually stop celebrating. 😉 )IMG_3748On March 2nd, I hosted a surprise birthday for my wonderful grandpa who turned 80 on the 6th. I held the event at my work, and invited my extended family, who mostly came from out of town, and some I hadn’t seen for years. We had a pretty good turn out, and my grandpa was so surprised that he couldn’t even look at me for days with out getting tears in his eyes. Watching him light up all weekend was the highlight of my entire year so far.IMG_3752

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Whitney and mom were also in town, and it was so fun to spend time with them, the girls, and Tyler and Adam of course. 😉 We celebrated an early birthday breakfast for me before they all left town Sunday.

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IMG_3754IMG_E3573IMG_3751PS- these two are two of my favorite people. I can not wait to have another one of them in August. (hooray for new babies!)

IMG_3747.JPGMy actual birthday was on Monday. It was a usual Monday spent at work, but I woke up to flowers, a card, and coffee from Derek, and got spoiled with nice messages from friends and family all day. I ended the night with a (much needed) pedicure with Shara, Michele, and Jamie. IMG_3719.JPGSince Derek worked Monday night, we decided to celebrate together Tuesday. We both had the day off, so we got lunch together, caught up on house chores, and just enjoyed a day alone together. He also surprised me with rise festival tickets in October. I’ve always wanted to go to the rise festival, so I am looking forward to that!

That night, we met up with our friends for dinner and ended the night watching the two night special of the bachelor at Buddy’s. Yes, we all watch the bachelor together, no its not weird. 😉

(I didn’t take any pictures that day or night, so here’s a few cute ones of my favorite boys from this weekend in Vegas.- Buddy missed the memo 😦 )IMG_3724.JPGIMG_3722Since Leslie and Kallista were also celebrating their birthdays this week, we all headed down to Vegas Saturday to celebrate together. (I told you, SO. MUCH. CELEBRATING.) We stayed in the Real World Las Vegas (season 12) suite at Gold Spike, and as always had way too much fun. IMG_3729.JPG

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IMG_3726IMG_3746IMG_3717I love these Pisces babes/ birth week twins of mine.IMG_3721

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IMG_3720I am another year older, and thanks to my head cold, definitely feel that way, but am also feeling so grateful for this life of mine. It’s meant to be celebrated, not just on my birthday, but every day. I’m loved by the best people, blessed with the greatest opportunities, and so proud of the person I continue to grow into. My motto has always been to live life like it is a constant celebration, and I’ve never stuck to it more than I am right now. I am so excited to see what growth, adventures, and memories my “late” 20’s bring.

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Onto the next adventure, Wren

A Farewell to my Early 20’s

Whenever I hear an older person talk about their best time of their life, it is most of the time “without a doubt, their 20s.”  In our 20s, we’re young, we’re allowed to be selfish, we’re usually in the best shape of our life. We are learning who we are and what we want, and how we want to live out the rest of our lives. The world seems like a whole new place filled with new memories, experiences, close relationships, and celebrations. So it’s no question, why this is usually the answer.

I remember finally turning 20 years old and thinking to myself, I am going to make these next 10 years the best years of my entire life, and live every day like it is something to be celebrated. I learned to subconsciously teach myself that these are my “good old days” and that one day, I too, will be a much older person, talking about how great my 20s once were.

Now that I’ve officially reached the age of 25 (birthday blog post coming soon) and am the middle of this wonderful decade of my life, I understand what all of those people were talking about and why our 20s are usually “our best days”.

Here’s a little nostalgic farewell to my early 20s, with photos from my birthdays. (you know for me to look back on):

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20 years old:

  • I traveled out of state alone for the first time without family, just with Derek.
  • I became friends with so many great people, who would eventually feel like family. (shout out to our continuing friendship!)
  • Derek got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.

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21 years old:

  • After 6 years, I finally made it official, had my dream wedding, and became Derek’s wife.
  • I found a lot of new passions such as teaching, yoga, and event planning.
  • Derek and I traveled out of country for our first time together.

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22 years old:

  • Derek and I bought our first house, and renovated it for 3 months.
  • We adopted our Harvey boy, and became dog parents.
  • We took a 10 day road trip, and I fell in love with the Pacific Northwest.

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23 years old:

  • Derek and I moved to the other side of the world for a semester, and crossed off two more countries together.
  • I rode on a total of 16 airplanes, and fell in love with this world.
  • I put my focus on accepting the person I was, and thought a lot about who I wanted to become.

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24 years old:

  • I spent a week in my fifth country with some of my favorite people.
  • I got promoted at work, to my dream position, as an event coordinator.
  • I had a lot of growing pains, and struggled with mental health issues, but became genuinely happy, and found self love.

Every year seems to get better than the last. Obviously, this isn’t the case for everyone, but I do believe that the last 5 years of my life wouldn’t have been as great as they were, without the mind set I’ve taught myself to have. I’ve said yes to new opportunities, I’ve reached out to make my connections with people deeper, I’ve learned that my comfort zone only exists in my mind, I’ve dug deep, and got in tune with myself and my life. And I’ve lived every single day, and every single moment knowing that I am going to miss it one day.

So, farewell early 20’s!

25, and the next 5 years have a lot to live up to, but I am planning on continuing the rest of my life like I am currently living in my “good old days.”  And that alone, makes me so excited for the adventure, growth, and memories they will bring.

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Onto the next adventure, Wren

Creating a Balanced Life from an Extroverted Empath

IMG_3285Finding balance in my life has been something I’ve struggled with for years, and I know I am not alone. A lot of us get overwhelmed with too many things to accomplish, too many people to devote our time to, too many goals that seem out of reach, and somehow there is never enough time to do it all. If our lives feel off balanced, we may experience anxiety, not feeling good enough for our loved ones, disappointed in ourselves, not sleeping or eating (or forgetting to) and putting important things on the back burner. And when this constantly happens, our mental health starts to take a downfall.

As an extroverted empath myself, finding balance is something that doesn’t come easy to me, but it is crucial if I want to keep myself sane and my mental health in tact. The extroverted part of me absorbs energy from going to places with groups of people, spending time with others, or even just calling or texting a friend or family member to interact.IMG_3282The empath part of me absorbs energies from outside sources or other people like my bloodstream absorbs my morning caffeine.  And if I am around any energy that isn’t compatible with my own at the moment, I start to feel exhausted and drained. I’ve always known I was a highly sensitive person, in fact EVERYTHING about me is sensitive: my emotions, my personality, even my skin. But I didn’t notice how sensitive I was to the energies around me until about a year ago and have since learned how much of an empath I am.IMG_3287.JPGSince then, I have accepted my personality traits and have learned to find a balance between the extroverted and the empathetic side of me. These two traits are polar opposite, and if I can find a way around them and continue balance throughout my life, I believe you can to.

  • Priorities should take most of your energy, but not all of it.

Everyone has different priorities in life. Maybe you’re working towards becoming the next CEO of a big company, maybe you are in the middle of a weight loss journey, or maybe you are trying to be the best house wife and soccer mom there ever was. Whatever you’re working towards, keep working towards it. You’re doing great! However, just because you have a priority, doesn’t mean that you should put all of your time and energy towards that one thing. If all of your time and energy is only directed towards one thing, the other parts of your life will start to crumble.

Take the CEO for example. This guy still has a family, friends, a body that needs food and sleep, a home that needs to be cared for, and a brain that will go insane if it is overworked. When all of his focus and energy is on working towards that position, it will be difficult for him to find balance in other areas of his life. He may start to lose his relationships with friends and family, his living space will always feel messy, and he may experience panic attacks, insomnia, or weight gain. Even though he will have the euphoric feeling of all of his hard work paying off (IF and WHEN) he becomes the CEO, his life will become out of order, and always feel imbalanced. Simply reminding yourself that priorities should take up most of your time and energy, but not all of it will help you find a healthy balance.IMG_3281.JPG

  • Do what you’re doing, while you are doing it.

This one may sound a little confusing, but it is actually pretty straightforward. I’ll start with a few examples. Most of you go to a place that you call work, this place is where you work. You go to a place called the gas station, this is where you get gas. You go to the gym, this is where you exercise. You go to a family dinner at your grandparents, this is where you eat dinner and spend time with family. You hangout with friends, to socialize and have fun. Pretty simple right?

The problems occur when you start doing other things other than the thing that you are doing. When you start putting your focus towards other responsibilities other than the one you are focusing on, things become messy and imbalanced. When you are at work, your focus should be on work, not on the vacation that you are planning next year. When you are at the gas station or the gym, your focus should be completely on the task that you are there to do. When you are spending time with family and friends, you should focus on being presently with them, not answering work emails and phone calls, scrolling through social media, connecting with others who are not there, etc.

I know it’s easier said than done, and this one will take practice, but if you truly want to feel balanced- stay in the moment and put your focus on the task that you’re doing while you’re doing it. Overall, this will help you feel more balanced, fulfilled, and accomplished.

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  • Plan ahead. (emotionally)

A lot of you may look at that first word and want to skip right over this tip. I know planning ahead doesn’t come naturally to some of you, but keep reading along because I am not talking about “five year plans” or “itineraries and timelines for your week.” I am talking about emotionally planning ahead. As an empath, this step is very important in keeping myself sane. And even if you aren’t an empath yourself, I think this little trick can help you too.

I’ll use my sensitive little self as the example here. When I emotionally prepare myself for a future event, I get less overwhelmed and anxious when the event actually happens. If I know I am going to Vegas with friends for the weekend, I can mentally prepare myself to be surrounded by large groups of people, loud noises, a lot of traffic, and a night of no sleep. About a week prior, I will stop communicating with a lot of different personality types, and push my errands and social gatherings back a week to save my emotional energy for the weekend.

If I emotionally prepare myself to spend the whole night alone with my dog and my favorite Netflix series, I can prepare myself to not get stir crazy, unmotivated, or lonely. I will put my focus on being alone, practice new hobbies, and enjoy the peace and quiet. Emotionally preparing ahead is nothing like physically planning ahead, it’s more a mind trick that I’ve learned how to subconsciously teach myself over the years. It takes practice, but I think preparing for the energy that will soon be around us can prepare us from negatively absorbing it, or getting exhausted from it.

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  • Learn how to say no.

Who else struggles with turning down opportunities or invitations? As an extroverted person myself, I have a large group of close family and friends and my weeks are usually filled with many different social gatherings. I used to never say no to an invitation, to anyone in need of help, or to staying extra hours at work. I always covered shifts, showed up to gatherings, and always replied with a YES, even when I didn’t really feel like attending (or working an extra 10 hours a week). Even though this brought me many great people and opportunities into my life, I  eventually wore myself thin.

After a while of living this way, I learned that I had no time or energy left to focus on myself. And in the midst of it all, I became exhausted, I became depressed, and I became lost. Who was I? What did I enjoy doing? What were my hobbies? The extroverted side of me felt this desperate need to always be surrounded by others, but the empath part of me was drowning, and begging for some time to decompress from the constant variety of energies that I constantly surrounded myself with.

It wasn’t until I learned how to say no, that I finally found a healthy balance of social time, and alone time. I have now learned where my exhaustion point is and even though most invitations and opportunities sound exciting and fun, I have no problem with turning a few of them down- For my mental sanity and to keep my life feeling balanced.

If I have a long, exhausting day at work, and a friend asks me to get dinner, I simply reply with a “no, a different day?” and look forward to my quiet house with no other energy filling the space besides my own. Plus, moving dinner to a different day gives me time to emotionally plan ahead. 😉 Empath or not, I think it is crucial for all of us to be alone with our own thoughts and energy every once in a while, to learn about the person we are, and what we enjoy, without the influence or energies of others.

Side note: to keep your alone time consistent, pick a place or a time of day that you always spend alone. Example: the gym, your morning coffee, your bath tub, dinner on Thursday nights, your yoga mat, a evening walk every Sunday, etc. (And remember do what you’re doing, while you’re doing it. This is your ALONE time, stay disconnected from your phone, so you can connect with yourself.)

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  • Remember, there is enough time

When your life start to feel imbalanced, for whatever reason it does, most of us always seem to say the same or similar excuses of “I am soooo busy.” or “There is just not enough time.” “I can’t keep up..” Sound familiar? I know we’re all guilty of it.

There is nothing wrong with being busy or having a lot going on, but guess what? There is always enough time. You have just as much time in a day as Beyonce. We all do. Stop blaming your sad imbalanced life on the time you don’t have. Not only is this an unhealthy way of thinking, it is also going to cause anxiety and make you feel overwhelmed about all of the time you’ve wasted, or the “not enough” you have left.

Instead, learn to prioritize and manage your time. Maybe you need to buy a calendar, maybe you need to wake up 2 hours earlier, maybe you need to spend less time on your video game, and more time with your parents. Or maybe, like me, you need to learn to say no, and reschedule with loved ones, or take a day off from work. Whatever you need to do, do it. Just please stop telling yourself there isn’t enough time, because eventually you’ll start believing it. And who wants to spend their time worrying about not having enough time? Prioritize and work for that balance.

I promise you, there is always enough time.IMG_3276.JPGAnd with that, I wish you all a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Onto the next adventure, Wren