At this moment right now, we should be on a big jet plane with China as our destination. Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned. Derek and I got a call last Friday that our visas got delayed. They’re not really sure why this happened, or how long it will take to get them. The only information that we got was that there are 39 other people that this happened to, and that we won’t be leaving on Monday (today) anymore.
To say I was upset would be an understatement. We are all packed up and so ready to leave. We celebrated all week and said all of our goodbyes, and now we just have to sit and wait.
If you know me personally, you know that when things don’t go as planned, I get overwhelmed. And I also get really anxious when I am not staying busy. So to not have a job, a house, or even a car, and to not know when we are leaving or have a plan has left me feeling upset. So upset and anxious that I think I made myself sick. I’ve been fighting a cold since Saturday morning, and I haven’t been sick all year. (Maybe its a good thing we didn’t travel today.)
This morning I woke up and looked at the time. It was 8:25. Of course, it was the exact time that our plane was leaving Salt Lake. I could have laid there in bed. I could’ve felt overwhelmed and upset. I could’ve let my anxiety of not knowing make me more sick. But instead I decided to change my mind set. I decided to pay more attention to Harvey and snuggle him a little longer. I decided to look through my photos from the last couple weeks. I decided that even though I didn’t have plans for the day, I was going to get out of bed, shower, stretch and write today. I decided that instead of feeling upset, anxious, and overwhelmed, I was going to feel blessed, lucky and so so happy.
I am blessed, lucky, and happy to have a husband who puts up with my moody self and my mental breakdowns. I am lucky to have family who lets Derek and I stay with them even when the “in-between” is longer than planned. I am blessed to have family, friends, and co workers who keep me busy with coffee dates, daily conversations, and going away parties even when we’re not going away yet.
I am happy to have Harvey, who some how knows when I am sick or sad and cuddles up to me just to make me feel better. I am lucky to have such a beautiful home town that is filled with beautiful views, sunsets, and people that I am going to miss so much.
Reading this, you may think I am dramatic or over sensitive. And the truth is, I am. I have always been sensitive. When I feel something, I feel it with every sense of my body. When I am sad, it ruins my day. When I get sick, I feel like I am dying. When I am overwhelmed or anxious, I just want to be alone. But today, I am choosing to feel blessed, lucky, and happy. Because let me tell you, that’s the complete truth. I am so blessed. I am so lucky. And I am so damn happy.
In the last week, Derek and I did all of our favorite things in this town. We did our favorite hike in Zion. We went to Cedar mountain to spend time in one of our favorite places with Derek’s dad and family friends who were up there hunting. (Derek didn’t get his hunting tag this year, but we still made our way up there for the day.) Since Derek didn’t have his tag, the only shooting this deer got was my camera lens. (I was happy about it 😉 )
We ate at all of our favorite restaurants, went on our favorite drives, and spent time with all of our favorite people. It was the perfect week to temporarily end our time in this town, but now I am just looking at it as the perfect week to end to summer. Because that is exactly what it ended up being.
So, here’s to plans falling through, here’s to not knowing when, here’s to being spontaneous, here’s to knowing that it will always work out when it’s supposed to, and here’s to staying so damn happy.
Onto the next adventure, Wren