To 26 and the Bittersweetness of Change

image4 (9)Who else feels like this month has already been a year long? With the news of the corona virus, the world and everything around us seems to  have drastically changed in a short amount of time.  I think that eventually things will calm down and the virus will pass, but I believe with all of the changes in our world at the moment, we as humans will always perceive life a little differently. I hope you’re not panic shopping, and instead taking this time to realize and appreciate  all of the little things that could be taken away from you in a days time.

I think we all already appreciate toilet paper a little bit more. 😉image1 (20)Even though at this time things feels a little “off” or  “different”, March is still one of my favorite months. I enjoy all of the little things it brings, like warmer weather, longer days, and fresh flowers and it’s also my birthday month. If you know me personally or have been a reader for a while, you know that I love the day that I get to celebrate my life. For as long as I can remember, I have taken advantage of my birthday to reflect on my previous year, remember all of the good times and lessons learn, and set new intentions and goals for the year to come. Like most people, I go through a similar thought process on New Years, but since my birthday isn’t shared with everyone else around me, it always feels a little more personal. 

I do share a birth week with my sweet grandpa though. He’s my favorite birthday twin and definitely doesn’t look like he’s 81!

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I usually write a blog post about my birth week celebrations, and all of the exciting things I did, with the people I love. But since this year marked so many changes in my life, this birthday post will be a little different. Because even though I obviously still celebrated with family and friends, my current mindset is what I want to remember when I look back on this birthday.

I turned twenty six on the 4th, and while reflecting these last couple weeks, I noticed that not only does it feel like the world has drastically changed, but in the last year, my whole life has personally changed as well.

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Looking back on last year’s birthday, I feel like I was a completely different person living a completely different life. Which in ways I was… twenty five was my most rewarding year. I could probably write a novel about the changes that took place in the last year, but since I have most of it captured in previous posts, I will save us all a little time. 😉 To sum it up, I accomplished so many of my personal goals, spent time in the most beautiful places, surrounded myself with the greatest people, and had so many memorable experiences, including becoming a mom. And the best way to describe the whole year would be “life changing.”

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When I think back to all of the changes since last March, I sometimes feel nostalgic or sad. At times, I catch myself grieving my old life and last year’s chapter, but then I remind myself how much I have grown and all of the things that I’ve accomplished and done since. And overtime, I’ve come to realize that even though change is bittersweet, most of the time it’s more sweet than bitter. Because even though life was so different and so good this time last year, it feels even better now.image0

And THAT is what I want this post to be about.

I want to look back on this post…next March when I turn 27, or in 5 years from now when my newborn baby is going to school, or when Harvey is too old to constantly want attention and play frisbee 4 times a day, or when we no longer live in our little yellow fixer upper. I want to remind myself of all of the things I accomplished and experienced at the age of twenty five, and I never want to forget this beautiful chapter and changes that twenty six brought. I want to remind myself that chapters close, even the really good ones. And with time, this really good chapter will close too.

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I’ve been letting go of what was and appreciating what is, and my main focus right now is loving every little present moment and nothing else. And I think everyone should try to do the same, especially at a time like this.

I think with the current events of the world, there will be more appreciation for the small things, more connection to others and ourselves, more creativity, more time in nature, and most of all more love. I don’t think is a time to be fearful or anxious, because fear is the worst and fastest spreading virus of all. Obviously, I think we should be safe and take precautions. But I also think there is so much good that can come from having to stay home and pay attention to the little things that we may have previously taken for granted. Because like I said before, change and unfamiliarity always feels bittersweet, but most of the time it leads to a lot more sweet than bitter. Sometimes, we just have to look a little harder for the sugar.

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I want to remember twenty six as the year not only that the world changed, but the year my personal life changed too. A previous chapter came to an end and life as I once knew it came to a close. But I accepted all of the love, joy, experiences, lessons learned, and letting go that came with it. And because of that, life never felt sweeter.image4 (8)

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Side note: stay educated, stay clean, stay healthy, and stay safe. Much love to you all, and this beautiful planet we are so lucky to call home.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

 

 

Mari’s Birth Video- 2.12.2020

Yesterday, we hit the one month milestone with our Mari. It was probably the most bittersweet thing that has happened since bringing her home, and I was emotional about it all day. Somehow everyday is better than the last which makes me so excited for the future, but other days I just want time to stop and for her to stay this little forever. The joys of parenthood, right?

 

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In between reaching bittersweet milestones, adjusting to parenthood, and life feeling a little crazy at the moment, (and the world?!) I found some time to put together Mari’s birth video. Derek and I briefly talked about hiring a professional to capture these special moments, but eventually decided together that we would do our best to capture it ourselves and keep it an intimate moment between just us (and obviously the hospital staff). I am very happy that we made that decision. Especially after going through having an early baby, only 7 hours of labor, and having to have a C section.

This little video that Derek captured and I put together means more to me than any other video I’ve ever made. It’s not perfect, it’s not all clear, and at times it reminds me of my old home videos on my dad’s 1990 camcorder. But it takes me back to the moment our lives changed and our very first memories with our Mari girl, and I’ll forever be thankful that I have it all captured. I’ve watched it about 50 times now, and still can’t get through it without the water works. 😉

As always, Thanks for watching!

Onto the next adventure, Wren

Maternity Photos- Feb 9, 2020

DSC_0576-1DSC_0631-1These photos were taken about a month ago, just 3 days before Mari arrived! We weren’t planning on taking maternity photos since I took a photo of my bump every week of my pregnancy, but when I won a free photoshoot on instagram, we thought “we might as well take advantage of that, and professionally capture this chapter of our life”.  And like every thing I have captured, I am so glad we did. DSC_0664-1DSC_0692-1DSC_0674-1DSC_0698-1Like most things I look back on, these photos makes me emotional. As much as I love having Mari in the outside world to love on and to hold in my arms, I can’t help but miss having her on the inside and so connected to me. I also didn’t think I would, but I miss my bump and the experience of being pregnant, even though I was uncomfortable for most of it. We didn’t know it at the time, but these beautiful photos capture my full term belly, and also our last weekend of just Derek and I before we became parents. DSC_0656-1DSC_0653-1DSC_0732-1DSC_0725-1DSC_0706-2DSC_0641-1DSC_0584-1DSC_0589-1DSC_0597-1DSC_0611-1DSC_0606-1Life without Mari already feels like a lifetime ago, and it hasn’t even been a month. I know that as more time passes, these photos will only become more precious to us than they already are. We have entered a completely different phase of life. And like all new parents do, have changed our lifestyle, outlooks, and mindsets. Derek and I both feel like completely different people than a month ago, because in a lot of ways we are. I am just glad I got the final days of our previous chapter captured so beautifully. DSC_0629-1DSC_0617-1DSC_0568-1DSC_0711-1DSC_0716-1I love this guy, I love our little girl, and I love this beautiful phase of life we are currently living in, and all of the amazing things that it has brought with it.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

Feb 9th, 2020 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant

Photos by Kenzi Reynolds Photography—-> https://kenzirphotography.smugmug.com/