Soul mates, and the search to find them

Soul mate:

The one person who is the perfect match. The perfect fit. The person who fills in your empty spaces and fits into your life like a perfect puzzle piece. The one person who is destined to be yours. Who at one point in time, you’ll meet and you’ll think “Oh, it’s you.  Here you are. You’re the one.”

IMG_0626Do you believe in such a thing? For some reason I’ve had a lot of conversations lately regarding soul mates and I have had a lot of different opinions and feedback on them. Some say there is no such thing; you fall in love when you’re ready for commitment with someone who is also ready, shares similar interests, and who you have a mutual attraction with. This could be anyone, it might last forever, and it might not-and that’s that.7Others say there’s only one person, it might take a life time to find them or you may never find them, but when you finally do, you’ll know. You are complete, you’ve found your perfect fit, your ONLY match and you’ll live life by their side for the rest of your days. They are your soul mate, and even though there are billions of other souls in the world, this is the only one that can complete you. You two were destined to be in each other’s lives, to fall in love, to complete the other.810IMG_E0622Hearing so many different theories has left me to figuring out my personal opinion and feelings on the matter. And in good ol’ Wren fashion, I decided to share mine. Because what if I told you, I believe in neither of the above theories?

Hold on tight, it’s about to get deep.

We all have bodies, but I believe we’re so much more than just our bodies. Just like our bodies, we all have souls that are unique and only our’s. Our souls aren’t made up of cells and atoms and body parts, they are made up of energy, light, and stardust. And when our brains (bodies) react to situations, things, and especially people, our souls react too.IMG_0624When I walk into a room and feel a certain energy, when I listen to certain songs, try new things, or when I am surrounded by certain people, my soul reacts (positively or negatively). Which brings me back to my soul mate theory.IMG_0625I believe in soul mates. However, I do not believe in the theory of only having one soul mate. I think we will all have many soul mates, some more than other’s, but everyone has more than one. Our blood related family members become our soul mates the day we are born. And even though we may feel like we don’t always need them, or aren’t always on the same page, our souls will always have a connection with them. In apart from family members, I believe we have many different soul mates. We have our romantic soul mates, musical taste soul mates, travel soul mates, our once a week coffee soul mates, our dance party soul mates, our cry on the shoulder soul mates, etc.IMG_0621You see, in my opinion, the idea of soul mates doesn’t mean that there is only one soul out there that completes us, because I think our souls need many souls to feel complete. Every once in a while, when you’re not looking for it, you’ll meet someone and think “wow I need you in my life at this time, you fill in my empty spaces, you complete me.” They will become one of your soul mates, and good news!! this will continue happening through out your life.IMG_E0623Our souls live off of connection and energy, but just like our brains, our souls are ever changing and growing. Which means there will be soul mates who may drift away from us, grow apart, or be replaced. These people just don’t complete you anymore, or they never did. And that’s okay, because you have a billion of more souls to connect with and you have your whole life to find them.9We’re all searching for happiness, to feel whole, to feel connected in this world. One of the most important things we can do to accomplish this, is to surround ourselves with the people who complete us, who give us happiness highs, who we call our best friends, our people, our family, our soul mates. I’ve found mine and I have never felt more complete.

 

I hope you all find your’s.

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Onto the next adventure, Wren

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100th post!- And Why I Blog

image1Wow guys! Here it is in all of it’s glory. My 100th blog post on The Stellar Stories (formerly Dur-stellar-spectacular). As most of my readers know, my blog isn’t the typical “Utah blog”. When ever a new friend or stranger and I exchange Instagram accounts they see my blog link and say “oh you blog?!” Yes, I know its cliche to have a blog, but the truth is, I am not a cliche blogger.  Unlike most “Utah Bloggers” I am not too interested in fashion or beauty, I’ve never even posted an outfit of the day post or a hair tutorial. I am not very tech savy, and I don’t have any fancy camera equipment. My photos are all taken on my phone, or my 3 year old camera. And even though I love social media, I have never cared too much about my follwoing. I barely have 1,000 followers on Instagram.

I do not make money from this little website I’ve created, I don’t have sponsors or paid partnerships. I honestly admire the bloggers that make money from it, but I’ve never cared to. Yeah, some days I think “wow, that would be nice to take pretty photos and write while making money,” but then I remember, that is not the reason I started blogging and that is not why I do it.image1 (1).jpeg

“So, why do you even blog then?”…

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I kept a journal my whole life up until high school. I have a box full of essays, stories, and poems I’ve wrote over the years. In about 2008, I learned there was such thing as spilling my thoughts to the internet instead of writing them all down. And I started writing to my Tumblr instead of my journals. I loved the privacy of blogging, and having the choice to publish my thoughts, or keep them private. I loved relating to others’ thoughts and being able to share them to my own page. And I also loved being able to go back to my mind at a certain time with just the click of my mouse. I still occasionally log into my Tumblr, here is the link if you’re interested-  http://thisnever-ending-story.tumblr.com/

One day, I grew out of writing. And sadly, I stopped. I stopped writing on paper, I stopped writing on Tumblr. I found other hobbies to pass my time including taking and editing photos and posting them on the new app that everyone had called Instagram. I was a senior in high school when Instagram came out, and even though most of my friends liked showing off their outfits, or beauty routine on their Instagrams, I loved the idea of sharing my thoughts in the captions. (I downloaded twitter for this reason, but the character limit just wasn’t doing it for me.)

In about 2013, I realized that I missed writing. Like really writing, not just photo captions or tweets. I thought to myself, I will start journaling again, but this time-online. I had a blog called “Alwaysareason” for a year or two, which was dedicated strictly my thoughts, my poetry, and the things that kept me up at night.  It definitely helped my love for writing, but my love for pictures was getting out of control. Plus, there was a new rule where if you posted more than one photo a day on Instagram, you weren’t cool. Because NO ONE wanted to see your face or life more than once a day. 😉

image3At the beginning of 2016, I decided to just go all in and start a new blog. I decided I would write about my thoughts, my favorite hobbies, and my beautiful life that I shared with my new husband; including our marriage, home, and travels. I would also post all of the photos and videos that documented this beautiful, unperfect life of mine. Dur-stellar-spectacular was created.

At this time, there were “Utah bloggers” on Instagram, and even though I would find myself occasionally comparing my photos or Instagram followers to their’s, I would remind myself that I wasn’t blogging to make a career out of it. It’s not what I wanted to do as a career. I am blogging because I love to write, I love to take photos, and I love to look back on certain times in my life.

2 1/2 years and a name change later, here we are. I have almost every single week of the last 2 1/2 years of my life documented in one place. With a click of a button, I can look back at the great moments, like our first week with Harvey, or remodeling our Dursteler Abode, and also the hard ones, like leaving our students in China.

And that is why I do it.

image2I blog for my husband. I blog for our future babies. I blog for the friends, family, and strangers who are interested in what we’re up to next. And most of all, I blog for myself. It’s my little outlet. It keeps me creative. It helps me realize how blessed I truly am to be living this life of mine.

I probably won’t ever have perfect photos on here, I probably won’t ever blog a post about my outfit that I wore that day, or have sponsors reaching out to be featured. But I promise you that when the whole “Instagram/blogger” thing dies, I will still be writing, taking photos, and somehow documenting it in one place.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

 

The Power of Good Energy -and how to find it

30227168_1601471149905968_2828284428826968064_n“Just like a fish isn’t aware that it is surrounded by water, people aren’t always aware that they are surrounded by energy.”

I am a very sensitive person and have been for as long as I can remember. I used to think it was a bad thing that I would cry at the drop of a hat, or get a laughter high for no reason at all. I’ve been told to “stop being so sensitive” my whole life, but I have learned to accept this personality trait of mine. Recently, I have learned that not only am I sensitive with my emotions, I am also extremely sensitive to the energy that surrounds me.

I’m a firm believer that the energy that surrounds us is what affects our moods and emotions, our connection to other people, and basically our whole outlook on life. It can pull us into darkness, if we allow it. But it can also pull us back into the light. Since I am more sensitive to this energy than most people, I am always searching for ways to control the energy that surrounds me. These are a few things I’ve personally done to find the good energy; the sunshine, the glow, the “high on life” feeling. It’s not always there, and sometimes it takes some extra effort, but if I try hard, I can usually find it. And I believe you can to.

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How I’ve personally found the light:

  1. Find that inspiration: this is can be as simple as listening to your new favorite podcast, to buying a plane ticket and having something to look forward to. When you are feeling inspired, your brain will soak in good energy. You will have an urge to exercise, create, and achieve. And nothing will get in your way.
  2. Get outside: I believe that the natural energy the Earth has is the best energy of all. Thank you Mother Nature. If you find yourself falling into the darkness or are feeling a sense of negative energy, get outside. Climb a mountain, swim in the ocean, look at the stars. Your body will absorb the energy from Mother Nature, and it will have noting but a positive effect on your body and mind.
  3. Start from the inside: All of us have positive and negative energy within us and what we choose to do with it is up to us. I believe that what we put out, we get in return. Sometimes it is more difficult to find the little light within us, but if we look for it and share it with other’s, the positive energy will eventually return to us. Practice small acts of kindness, compliment others’, and most of all, even when you don’t feel like it, keep smiling.  
  4. Other people’s energy: This has definitely been the biggest learning curve for me in the last year. I never realized how sensitive I was to others’ energy until recently, and learning this about myself has opened my eyes to a whole new social world. I know that there is good energy and bad energy in everyone and I have always tried to treat others’ like they’re only full of good energy. But, recently I have learned that even if people are full of good energy, it doesn’t mean that it is always compatible with ours’. Pay attention to how you feel after you spend time with someone. Do you feel better about yourself or worse? People can have good intentions or be a great friend, but that doesn’t always mean they will bring you light. Our souls weren’t made to connect to every other person, and spending time with people that you don’t feel connected to can pull you away from the light.
I could probably write a whole novel on my views on human connection because it’s been one of my favorite topics lately, but I will save that for a later post.

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For now I will leave you with this;

 

There is good and bad energy everywhere, in everything, and in all of us. Look for the light, find the sunshine. It may be difficult, but I promise it is always there. It may come and go, or it may stay for a while. Don’t ever stop searching. And most importantly,  when you discover it, remember you have the power to let it in or shut it out.

Keep Shining.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

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23 Lessons I learned at the Age of 23

28783239_1573593302693753_5723329812123090944_nThey always say time goes faster the older you get, but I know that isn’t true. Time just becomes more precious. I started my 24th journey around the sun this week, and for the first time in my life I said “I feel so old” and actually meant it. I said that at the age of 13, but knew I was practically still a child. I said that at the age of 17, but knew I wasn’t even an adult yet and far from old. And I said that at the age of 21, but was always surrounded by people who made me feel like the baby.

I know I am not old. Being in your early 20’s doesn’t make you old. But boy, did 23 make me grow up. And in a sense, I feel so much older than I did at this time last year. I learned more at 23 than I have any other year of my life. I had the most self growth and learned more about myself this past year than I have in all of my other years combined. Not too mention, I had some of the best experiences, and made so many memories that I know I will hold onto forever. I loved 23, and I am sad to see it go. But since it was such a big milestone for me, I decided to share 23 lessons I learned at the age of 23.

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  1. Happiness comes from the inside some place between your head and your heart.
  2. Everything else that “makes you happy” just adds to the happiness that is or isn’t there.
  3. Traveling will be the greatest teacher you’ve ever had.
  4. This world is big, and witnessing it will make you feel small.
  5. No body will ever have the same outlook as you, accept it.
  6. You’ll be surprised who makes an effort when you stop making an effort.
  7. You’ll be even more surprised by who doesn’t.
  8. Just because someone tells you they’re “doing good” doesn’t mean they are.
  9. Self love will be the hardest lesson you’ll ever learn.
  10. You may not ever fully learn it. That is okay,  don’t ever stop trying.
  11. Surrounding yourself with people who have the same interests as you will make you feel connected.
  12. Surrounding yourself with people who have different interests than you will make you learn.
  13. Beauty standards are just made up by society.
  14. Everyone has a different perception of beauty and success.
  15. Marriage should never feel like the end. It should always feel like the beginning of something amazing.
  16. If it starts to feel like an end, there is usually something that can fix it. Try hard, it’s worth it.
  17. It’s okay to constantly change your interests and passions to find what makes you happy.
  18. Growing older is no excuse to stop doing something
  19. Communication and honesty is key in every relationship; friends and family included.
  20. Good music or a good view are the two cures to just about everything.
  21. It’s okay to be vulnerable and sensitive about your feelings.
  22. There is always something that can make life feel more beautiful. Look for it.
  23. There is never a right time to do something you want, do it now.

 

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Onto the 24th year of this beautiful life I’m living, and onto the next adventure, Wren

 

According to Plan-or Not

 

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What are you doing with your life? I find myself asking this question a lot. I ask my friends, I ask my husband, I ask my sister who just graduated high school, I even ask my parents. But most importantly, I ask myself. In the last year, the main lesson I’ve learned is that we can have an answer to this question, a plan of exactly what we’re doing with our life, a perfect picture in our head of how we want it to look, and a schedule of events to get there-to that life that we’ve imagined for ourselves. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

If you would have asked me ten years ago how my life would look at the age of 23, I would have told you that I’d be working at a high end salon styling hair in New York City and possibly studying interior design or journalism. I would be traveling to Europe and Thailand with my new friends from New York, and probably dating a bunch of random guys who had good singing voices and a lot of tattoos.

If you would have asked my five years ago, I would have told you that by the time I was 23, I would have it all figured out. By “figured out” I would mean that I would have a long list of places I’ve traveled, my dream career, a nice six pack of abs, a close group of friends that I would gather with for pilates and brunch, and a handsome husband. I’d be on my way to starting a family, building my dream home, and making a lot of money. (hahahha!)

Some of these things have worked out the way I pictured they would.  (Example: Handsome husband) Some haven’t. (Example: abs) And I’ve taught myself that that is completely okay. It is what keeps life interesting.  As we grow, our interests and wants for our lives change. Upon a series of very fortunate events, I’ve created a life that I am very proud of. And the things I am not proud of, I know that those things happened because I chose them to. I’ve finally learned and accepted that I have almost complete power of how my life goes. So let me ask you, are you proud of the life you’ve created? Did it go according to plan? Is it too late to start over?

I constantly hear, or read about people who say “well it wasn’t suppose to happen this way” or “why didn’t life go as I always hoped?” “Why couldn’t my life have turned out the way their’s did?” “Where did I go wrong?”

And to be honest, I am guilty of  thinking the same way. Randomly, I’ll ask myself why things turned out the way the did and why certain things didn’t go as planned. Why couldn’t I have ended up loving being a hair stylist like I always dreamed of, or why did I flake out and give up on my dreams of moving to New York when I graduated high school? I’ll even ask myself why things I couldn’t control happened the way they did. Like why couldn’t I have been raised by parents who stayed married? Or why wasn’t I born with thick hair and long legs?

I am constantly hearing people say that they aren’t happy with the way things happened, and it makes me upset. We all need to change our perspective, and look at the positive reason of why things happened the way they did. Because even though it’s hard to imagine sometimes,  I believe that most things always happen for very good reasons.

Instead of being passionate about styling hair, I have found my true passion in events and design. And who knows, maybe in another five years, I will find a new passion, or go back to my old ones. Instead of being a band groupie, I fell in love at the age of fifteen and never wanted anything else. I don’t have a very long list of places traveled by the age of 23. I am just starting my list, but now I have my husband by my side. I may not go to brunch and practice Pilates with my friends every week, but I have accepted that maybe that’s just not the person I am. (Just like I don’t have long legs and thick hair-and abs) I may not be on the way to building my dream home or starting a family anytime soon, but I have a healthy happy marriage, a home that I’ve learned to love, and my Harvey boy who takes up my whole heart at the moment.

Obviously, you all had a different “life plan” than I did. And your picture in your head of what your life would look like at this point may be completely opposite of mine. Maybe some of you are living that life plan, and things went right on schedule and everything worked out perfectly, (round of applause for you) but I doubt that is the case for most of you. I am here to tell you it’s okay! And I am going to sound very cliche,  but where you are right now is exactly where you should be.

So forget that picture in your head that you had five or ten years ago. Forget all of those plans that didn’t work out, work towards the ones that are still important to you, and be excited for the ones that haven’t happened yet. Accept the life that you’re living because at some point, this was your decision. You decided to live this life. If you are unhappy with it,  take a step back and remind yourself that it’s never too late to change it. We can’t change the past, but it is our choice how we choose to think about it. Instead of being upset, dwelling on it, and thinking “why did I do that, or why didn’t I do that” think of the future, and start working towards that life you want.

You may be upset that you didn’t move to New York when you were 18, but you can still move to New York. (“No I can’t because I have a career and five kids now Wren.” ) QUIT THAT CAREER AND PACK THOSE KIDS UP. If it’s something you really want and you know that you would eventually regret it if you didn’t do it,  DO IT!

If you asked me today how I picture my life in five years, I might have a long detailed answer. I can sit here and imagine how it will look, and draw up a schedule and a plan, but the truth is I have finally learned and accepted that it won’t always work out that way.  I may be very happy with the outcome, I may have some regrets, but I know that there will be lessons learned either way. None of us know when our life will make us reschedule or cancel certain plans, but we always need to remember that the reason it turned out the way it did is because we created that way.

“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it’s supposed to be.” -Socrates

Onto the next adventure, Wren

 

 

Love Yourself!-It’s important

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In this day in age, it is so hard to accept our bodies how they are. Especially if you are a woman. Everyday I hear at least one woman or girl complain about their appearance.  “I wish my hair was longer, I wish I had your lips, I need to lose weight, I need to change this and that and that and this and blah blah blah” It’s sad..

In our society today, it is so easy to be upset about the way we look. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other woman on the internet, and it’s so hard to not feel insecure. If all my dreams were to come true, my hair would look like Amber Fillerup’s and I would have Alexis Ren’s body.

But wouldn’t we all?….

Why is it that we have beauty these standards and the way that we define “perfect” in our head?  Who decided that we should all strive to look a certain way in order to be “beautiful?” And how did we as a society, or a world accept these beauty standards? If we were all perfectly flawless, or what most people call “beautiful” there would be no such thing as raw beauty. We would all be the same.

Instead of calling certain girls perfect or flawless, we should call them lucky. That’s wonderful that they got amazing genes with thick hair and long legs. It’s also amazing when people are lucky enough to fall in love, or travel the world, or graduate from their dream college. I probably won’t ever be lucky enough to win the lottery, be famous, or have certain talents, and I have accepted those. Why is it so hard for us to accept that we won’t ever look like a certain person? Because that’s all it really is, it’s luck.

If I could change things about myself I would, we all would. But we have to stop thinking of the person we want to become, and love the crap out of ourselves right now! Maybe one day I’ll find the motivation to stop eating quesadillas and work really hard for abs, maybe one day I’ll quit having the urge to chop my hair off so that it will grow long, and maybe one day I’ll save enough money to “fix” my flat chest, but I need to stop thinking “maybe one day” or “I wish I had..” and start loving the person I am right now, flaws and all. And so do you!

Here’s an inspirational quote from a beautiful stranger that I follow on Instagram.

“Body. Body. Body. The only thing that gals are taught that matters right?! Well. Hello. Here’s a gal that’s happy in herself, in her body, her hair and crappy nails, her books, in her learning and in her mind! If you are feeling good, make everyone feel it around you. Your mind is strong, your body is in good health. It’s uplifting to have self love around you. This gal is happy in her mind, soul, AND body. And isn’t that mighty fine? You rock whatever the hell you got on, fully covered or nothing at all! Feel good within yourself, accept one thing a day, it may be only baby steps, your thoughts control your happiness. Release healthy body and mind, positive thoughts, and others will follow. Learning to love yourself can be a task, but it doesn’t have to be. Rock those thighs baby, that ass and boobs! As small as you think they are, love them with all your might. Self love is so so so so important. It teaches us truth. Truth and love about how beautiful we really are. POSITIVE BODY IMAGE, NO EXPECTATIONS, LOVE YOU, AND YOUR BODY, COMPARISON FIXES NOTHING, INDULGE IN YOU DARLING AND APPRECIATE YOURSELF.”

Instagram: tiahendricks (I recommend following her)

Instead of comparing my body to her’s in the flawless mirror selfie she posted,  I read the caption over and over again, and simply thanked her for it in a comment. And that alone is already better than what I was doing a week ago. Self love is hard, it’s a long journey, but I am finally realizing how important it is. We all need to change our mindsets, stop comparing, and start accepting.

Onto the next adventure, Wren

Last New Habit & a Happy New Year

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First of all, Happy new year! I hope you all had a great holiday weekend, and that none of you are suffering from this horrible cold that is going around! (Derek and I both had it for the last two days, and it is not a fun way to start a new year)

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I started last year with out any new years resolutions. I don’t like the idea of setting new goals just because it is a new year, but by the middle of January, I decided to make one new healthy habit each month.

I have kept most of my new habits, and some I only focused on for a couple months, but it was fun to only focus on one specific thing for 30 days, instead of working towards one goal all year. I learned a lot about myself, I picked up old hobbies, and became more health conscious (Physically and mentally.)


For the month of December, I focused on drinking more water. I’ve always been a huge water drinker, I struggle in the winter time though. It is hard for me to remember that even though I am not in the sun a lot, my body still needs hydration. I made it a habit to drink at least six cups of water a day. I now drink a glass as soon as I woke up (before my coffee) with every meal, and before bed.

I didn’t notice a huge difference in the way I felt, but my skin and hair feel so much better. I get really dry skin in the winter, and I feel like all I do is apply lotion and chapstick all day. I have already noticed that I am not using as much lotion or  chapsticck. It’s crazy how our bodies react so much to something as simple as proper hydration.

This wasn’t a huge, life changing habit for me. But focusing on it more has made a difference. If you want to read all 12 of my healthy habits I made last year, click on the “inspire” link up top! ^

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We celebrated New Year’s in Brian Head this year. We drove up to Cedar City Saturday morning to grab lunch with Demi and see her new condo, and then we went up the mountain to Brian Head.

We spent the afternoon snow boarding. Derek had never been, he’s only been skiing a couple of times. And I only go about once a year, so it was a lot of fun to learn together and spend alone time away from home. We got pretty good! My only goal for the day was to get off the lift with out falling, and I accomplished it THREE times. Derek and I even made it down the hill a few times with out falling once. I think that snowboarding will become a new hobby that we enjoy together. We had a lot of fun!

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That evening, we met up with the guys. They were renting a condo up there since they were snowboarding and skiing all weekend. We watched the fireworks, ordered a few pizzas, and they threw an awesome party! (Like always) Besides getting altitude sickness and feeling nauseous all night, we had a great time. It was fun to ring in the new year, in a place away from home, with our favorite people!

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Last year was so exciting for Derek and I. We bought and renovated our house, adopted Harvey, both learned what we want out of life, and figured out what jobs we love and don’t love. Derek also reached his weight goal that he’s been working on for a year and half!

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For this year, my only goal is to continue to be happy. I am going to do the things that make me happy, and stay away from the things that don’t, regardless of other’s opinions. I am going to surround myself with people who motivate and inspire me, and continue to grow and change as a person. I am going to focus to make my marriage and family a priority, and always remember what matters most at the end of each day. And most of all, I am going to continue working on self love. I am not going to compare myself to others or try to impress anyone, but myself.

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I hope you all have a great new year filled with adventures, new beginnings, and time spent with the people who make your heart full!

Onto the next adventure, Wren